I operate on sleep deprivation. Or perhaps the term sleep deficit is more aft. Whatever. I can usually deal with it quite well. I start out looking at 6 hours of sleep a night but inevitably something happens to jar me awake and keep me awake in the wee hours of the morning. DH is the usual suspect though the other night it was the sound (I swear I heard it) of a rodent chewing on something in the bathroom. Of course the noise and my state of alertness led me to get up and actually have to use the bathroom. And once I was up, and once the noise stopped (dammit where is the vermin?) I was up for good. Oh if . Sleep time cut short AGAIN. (and again and again)
Which explains why when I get home from work I’ve been known to doze off for 20 minutes or so and take a power nap. I can be out in under a minute given the right setting (the sofa, a blanket, a pillow, the tv on). And some how my brain must monitor the tv and thus the passing of time. It all wrks well, or so I thought….
Today, despite being off work, I dragged my ass out of bed along with DH at 6 am. I was awake. No sense just lying in bed. I puttered around, ran an errand or two and ended up on the sofa, with the pillow, with the blanket and the tv blaring to the mini House marathon. Yes, I was out in under a minute. Dreaming away, dreaming along with the drama unfolding from the airwaves.
And then it just went wrong. The dream morphed from House fixing and saving the day intellectually to him having to travel back in time, by stepping through a hole in time, hidden in a framed photograph he had nailed to the wall above the bookshelves. (not my bookshelves, these were white and in a room (L+shaped) that lead to another room) And then I was dreaming I was sleeping on the sofa and someone was in the house. I wanted to wake up but I couldn’t move. I tried to move my head but it wouldn’t budge. I tried opening my eyes and could not. I could hear. I could hear someone walking in my house and I hoped it was DH home uber early from work. I tried to move but ended up only thrashing around on the sofa. I tried to see, but couldn’t focus my eyes. Finally I was able to get up. Still unable to see well, I stumbled to the front window and saw a car parked IN the front yard under the maple tree. The cat rubbed against my legs and I picked her up. And I thought,”the cat isn’t freaked out at all, there can’t be anyone here.” and I saw that my car was parked in the driveway below. Odd. And then I was back on the sofa, dreaming away. The whole being able to get up was just a dream within the nightmare I was still having. I was back to being unable to move, but being able to hear. I could hear someone in the bathroom off the kitchen. I heard the garbage can lid whomp shut with a metallic clank. I continued to struggle to get off the sofa, still unable to move much other than my hands. Still unable to open my eyes and search for whoever was in the house. I still had the cat though now she was perched on my side, snuggled up to my face. I began to pet her with one hand and cover my eyes with the other hand. How could I be back on the sofa? Why can’t I get up? Who is in the house? Why can’t I cry out either? Why can’t I get off the sofa? I thrash around a bit as I clutch the cat. She purrs happily. The blanket gets bunched up and I try over and over to raise my head and look around. But I can hear and I know the tv is really loud and I want to turn it down. If I was able to turn it down I’d be able to hear where whoever is in the house is. But again I think, “if the cat is happy, then there can’t be a stranger in the house.”
And then I am awake, Really awake. And the cat is on the floor by the tv and my blanket is smooth and covering me right up to my chin and I easily get up and go to the window. Yeah, no car in the front yard, my car in the garage where I left it. I’ve had some weird dreams )with and without the tv being on) but never a dream within a dream type scenario and what DOES it mean when you dream you can’t wake up?
Okay, so when you google dream meanings and go to the dictionary it tells you all this crap about death and or ignorance. hmmm and paralyzed gets you some more psycho babble but did yield a paragraph telling us that when you are under REM sleep you ARE paralyzed. Makes some sense. My brain probably hit rem while another part was trying to tell me that 2 more House episodes had passed and it was time to wake up. Yeah, but my body hadn’t made up for the sleep deficit just yet. Hence the struggle. I’ll go with that. Still unsettling.
